A Radiator Springs Orgy
by daddychat
Summary: Lightning McQueen and Mater go to Route 69 to have the time of their lives, and decide not to limit the fun to just themselves.
1. Car Horny

It was a very hot day within Carburetor County, and Lightning McQueen and Mater were trying to pass the time.

"Wow!" said the sweet southern Owen Wilson-y goodness of Lightning's voice. "It's so hot out here!"

"Well it must be cuz you here Lightning!" Mater said lovingly. Lightning blushed.

"Oh Mater, you're pretty sexy yourself!" Lightning said seductively.

"You wanna meet me at Route 69? ;)" Mater said.

"That sounds great, Mater!" Lightning screamed, and they drove off to a love hotel not far from Radiator Springs. They checked in and were ready to have the hour of their lives.

"Hey Lighting, do me a favor and drive backwards like I taught ya." said Mater as they entered the hotel room.

"Sure!" Lightning slowly backed up, almost into Mater, when Mater shot oil into Lightning McQueen's tailpipe.

"Wow!" said Owen Wilson Lightning McQueen.

"Well dadcum!" said Mater, while oiljaculating.

Lightning almost climaxed when Sally burst in.

"Where were you guys? We've been looking everywhere for you!" Sally shouted, and right behind her were the rest of their Radiator Springs friends.

"We're havin' a darn tootin' time, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't interrupt!" Mater said, but then Lightning had an idea.

"What if we turn this up a notch, Mater. Let's have an orgy!" he shouted.

"What a wonderful idea!" said the smooth, Italian voice of Luigi, who started eyeing Guido seductively.

"I don't know how I feel about this..." said Doc, but Lightning looked at him reassuringly and said:

"You don't wanna give me cummies, Daddy?" Lightning whispered. Doc realized what a fool he would be to pass on this ocassion. And thus begun the Radiator Springs Orgy.


	2. Pregnancy

So the orgy began with Doc rear-ending Lightning, and not in the vehicle damage-y way HEYYYOOOOO

"Oh, daddy!~~~" Lightning McQueen moaned.

"Dadcum, let me join back in! Better git 'er done!" Mater said.

"Yoo, Ramone not gonna miss out on this!"

"Come on guys, I can only take so much in my tailpipe!" Lightning moaned.

Meanwhile, Guido and Luigi were finally confessing their hidden love in the most sexual way possible.

"Woah Luigi, I didn't know you were into bondage!" Sally said. "Mind if you give me some pointers?"

"Of course," and Luigi began to give Sally some BDSM tips.

"Wait a minute, did anyone bring condoms?" Lightning realized. There was an awkward silence. Literally right after, Lightning's stomach started bloating, so basically his underside grew to where his tires weren't even touching the ground. "Wow, I'm pregnant!"

"Woah, I wonder who the father is?" Sally asked. "You had like, 10 oil pipes in you at once."

"Lemme listen to see if i hear a kick!" Mater said, and leaned his ears against Lightning's stomach. Within there, he could hear what sounded like a human man kicking and screaming. "I can hear him!"

"Well we shouldn't let this intrude on our sexy times!" Sarge said.

"Good point! Who else wants me to be their daddy?" Doc said. Nearly all the cars in the rooms shouted "Yes!", except for Luigi and Guido who were currently practicing bondage.


	3. Route 69

The orgy raged on, and even the now-pregnant Lightning McQueen joined in!

"Ka-chow!" said Lightning McQueen as he climaxed.

Meanwhile, Ramone and Sarge were having hot oral sex as Sarge put his tongue into Ramone's trunk.

"Good news everybody, I brought the weed!" said Filmore. Then all the cars started fucking blazing it.

"Y'all are all under arrest for going 420 miles per hour, HEYYOOOOOOOOO" said Sheriff. Get it? It's 420. THE MOTHERFUCKING WEED NUMBER GUYS HAHA GET IT.

"Guys, this oral and anal is fun and all, but how about we try some true 69!" Sally recommended.

"But how would we do that? We're cars, not humans like Adam Sandler here." Said Sarge, gesturing to Adam Sandler. Oh yeah, Adam Sandler is there. Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Sandler! (hold for applause)

"I have an idea!" Said Sally. She led all of her friends outside of the Route 69 love hotel to a nearby cliff, still on Route 69. "First, I do this!" Sally drove off the cliff and landed on her back. "Now, one of you drive off the cliff but land on me!"

"Get 'er done!" Mater shouted and he drove off the cliff, onto Sally, and they started 69ing each other.

"Woah, that looks fun!" Said Luigi. "Everyone try, in pairs!" So Luigi and Guido did it, and Ramone and Filmore, and Doc and Sarge, and Sheriff and Red. They continued doing it until they heard Lightning screaming: "The baby! It's coming!"


	4. The Great Search

The cars rushed to Lightning, who was in labor.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" said Lightning, going through labor.

"Is anyone here a doctor?" Asked Sally, desperately.

"I am!" said Adam Sandler. "I know exactly what to do here!" He then ripped apart Lightning's car-flesh/steel along his stomach and ripped out the baby with his own hands. The baby, was not a car, but Larry the Cable Guy himself.

"Wow!" said Lighning McQueen.

"The sperm of Mater and Adam Sandler must have combined, because we have a human who talks like Mater!" Said Sally.

"And he's sexy too!" Said Adam Sandler.

"He's a child!" Lightning shouted.

"I am too! I was born 36 minutes ago! I'm Dusty Crophopper's kid." Sandler replied.

"Woah, Dusty finally settled down? Good for him." Lightning said. "Anyway, wait, where did Adam Sandler and Larry the Cable Guy go?" Everyone looked away to realize that they vanished.

"We have to find them! Quick everyone, to the Car Car!" Said Doc. So all the cars drove into a bigger car that they can drive around. Like a normal car to humans, but with cars in the seats instead of humans, and it's bigger since it's cars inside the car. But the outside of the car is the same as normal cars. And these cars aren't alive. Trust me. Well, some of them are. But not this one. And some of those alive Car Cars have Car Car Cars. And like, only a few of those Car Car Cars are alive. They have Car Car Car Cars but there's only like 12 and none of them are alive. Oh yeah, there's a story.

The cars drove the car car around looking for any signs of the two, but they seemed to have vanished from the face of the Earth. Moments later, Finn McMissle and Holly Shiftwell arrived and hopped into the car car.

"Hey guys, I heard about an orgy. An old british chap like me who hasn't had a good honk in years would love to join." Said McMissle.

"We called that off, since Lightning's son and Adam Sandler have gone missing!" Sally said.

"Oh no, we must find them! And then get back to that orgy because I'm not gay but daaaaamn Sally ur bod is sick ;)))))" Holly said.

";))))" Sally replied.

Holly and Sally decided "eff the search" and jumped out of the car car, heading over back to Route 69.

"Guess we'll have to do the search on our own then!" Said Lightning, but he turned around to realize literally everybody else jumped out of the car too and back to Route 69.

"Guess I gotta search for my son and his friend alone. :(" Said Lightning, still driving the car car.


	5. New Challenger

Lightning was searching all night while all the other cars were 69ing and trunkfucking each other.

"If only I had some sort of help on finding my son and his friend..." Said Lightning, still driving the car car. And that's when he met... Carnet.

"Hello, I am Carnet." Said Carnet, in a mystical British accent. "You seem familiar..."

"I've never seen you before in my life, but you seem like a blatant ripoff of Garnet from Steven Universe, right down to the voice." Said Lightning.

"Literally fuck you and everything you stand for you cum fucker slut face." Said Carnet.

"Wow, that's fucking rude. Lemme guess, you're here to Route 69?" Lightning asked.

"Of fucking course!" Said Carnet. She then did a backflip all the way to Route 69 and landed on top of Flo who joined in on the Radiator Springs Orgy.

"What a fucking showoff. Like what a dick! That testicular cum guzzling fuck slut bitch ass penis dick whore!" Said Lightning McQueen, visibly crying.

Meanwhile, on Route 69, all the cars were 69ing without a care in the world. Even the cast of Planes joined the fun! What, you don't know any characters from Planes? Ha, me neither. Nobody fucking saw those movies. I can only name like, the main character. He's Dusty Crophopper. And yes, he 69ed too. Even though he's a plane. Fuck you too.

"Mmmmmmfmmfmfmmfmf thats some hot shit THATS SOME HOT SHIT" said Sally as Holly dominated her with a strap-on.

"Wait, I have an idea!" Said Doc. "Why not have a true orgy? All of us just get into one big FUCKPILE!" Doc said, and everyone cheered. In order to achieve this, all of them drove back up to the top of the cliff of Route 69, where all of them just drove off into a clusterfuck of cars. You'd think it was a massive auto disaster, or even a junkyard if nobody told you it was kinky.

"Dadcum, that was some fun! Now I should go really help out my old pal Lightning, cuz hes lookin' for his kid an' all." Said Mater, dispersing himself from the pile.

"Me too, I almost feel bad for ditching him." Said Sally. The two drove off, looking for lightning, when they came across an odd looking vehicle levitating in the sky.

"Woah, is dat a UFO?" Said Mater.

"What, that can't be possible!" Said Sally, but as they drove closer they saw. Standing in front of that URL were Lightning McQueen, Carnet, and three unfamiliar cars. "Who are these guys?" Said Sally as they drove up.

"I'm Caridot, and these are Jaspord and Lapis Chevrolet. We're here to take over this planet!" Said Caridot.

"Okay even I can admit this is a blatant Steven Universe ripoff so what the-" Before Carnet could finish, she was knocked out by Jaspord.

"Oh my god! You just killed Carnet!" Lightning screamed, but Jaspord knocked him out before he could say any more.


	6. Jailbreak

Mater woke up inside an unknown cell of an unknown ship.

"Lightning? Sally?" Mater shouted, calling for his friends. He then remembered. "Carnet?!" Mater approached the door of the cell, and easily unlatched it using his tow. He got out and saw a small, familiar man in the cell. "Ello? Are you okay?"

"Great! This is just perfect!" Said the man. "Don't look at me! Just go away..."

"Wait a minute... Adam Sandler? I can get you out!" Mater said, recognizing his friend and unlatching his cell too.

"I have to find him!" Said Sandler. "He's all alone, I need to find him!"

"I can help you find your friend!" Said Mater. "We'll do it together!" Sandler rushed away, and Mater could barely even keep up. He soon got separated, but came across another cell.

"You escaped! Of course..." Said the man. Mater unlatched his cell too. "Thank you, Mater!" Then Adam Sandler walked in, seeing both of tehm.

"Adam!"

"Larry!"

Adam Sandler and Larry the Cable Guy ran up to each other and hugged.

"Did they hurt you?" Said Sandler.

"No, no, I'm okay, did they hurt you?" Said Larry.

"Who cares?"

"I do!"

The two started tearing up, and Sandler picked up Larry and started spinning him around. They were laughing and spinning until they overlapped with each other and fused into Carnet.

"Mater! Thank you!" Said Carnet.

"Carnet, you're a fusion?" Said Mater, in shock.

"We didn't want you here meeting us like this."

"Well, did I make a good impression?"

"Oh Mater, we already love you."

Then walked in the malicious Jaspord.

"Oh great, you're both out? And fused again? Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make weak humans into strong cars." Said Jaspord.

"Quick, Mater, go save the others!" Carnet shouted, preparing to fight Jaspord.

Mater drove off and hurried to a prison block, where he found Lightning and Mater. He unlatched their cells and they went to the pilot's room, where the three ganged up and took down Caridot. Sally took the controls and drove the UFO back down to Earth.

Meanwhile, Carnet and Jaspord were having this really intense fight I really don't feel like describing. Sorry.

The UFO crashed back into the Earth (ironically, Sally, who is a car, is a very bad driver), and once they got there Carnet was like "Fuck it." and fucking stabbed Jaspord to death. After the dust settled, Mater, Lightning, and Sally talked to Carnet.

"Oh my gosh! You're a fusion all the time?" Mater asked.

"We were gonna introduce you on your birthday." Carnet smiled.

"We can still do it! I'll just pretend I don't know!" They laughed and then remembered something important.

"So wants to meet a fusion at Route 69?" Carnet asked. Everyone agreed.


	7. The Circle of Succ

Carnet, Lightning, Mater, and Sally were returning to the orgy at Route 69, when they saw Jaspord and Lapis Chevrolet again.

"Don't think you've won! You only beat me cuz' you're a fusion! If I had someone to fuse with I'd-" Jaspord said, then realizing Lapis Chevrolet. Jaspord grabbed her. "Lapis, listen, fuse with me!"

"What?" Said Lapis Chevrolet.

"Don't do it!" Said Mater. But Lapis caved... and her and Jaspord fused into a massive, Car Car, with 6 tires and shit. It was big and scary and another Steven Universe ripoff.

"We're Malachevron now!" Said their fusion.

"Wow, hot bod!" Said Doc in the distance, driving up.

"Oh!~ Thank you!" Said Malachevron, before she could get revenge.

"You wanna join the orgy?" Said Flo, winking.

Malachevron blushed. "Orgy? Nobody told me about an orgy! Of course I will!" Malachevron drove straight off Route 69 and since she was such a large car car, everyone was able to pile on and 69 her at once.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Said Malachevron, who ejaculated so hard that she launched Carnet into space.

"I can't believe Carnet is fucking dead!" Said Mater.

"Thank god!" Said Lightning. "Now I don't have to deal with the awkwardness of my own child's fusion being at an orgy!"

Meanwhile, Carnet was not dead, but in space, secretly plotting revenge on Lightning. I hope that doesn't come back to haunt him! Now back to the orgy.

Lightning had the brilliant idea of trying oral sex. In order to do so, he drove on top of Route 69, but instead of driving off the cliff, he hung just over it so his undersides could be seen. Then everyone else drove off the cliff in an order, stacking. Then, Mater drove off last and the stack of cars reached up to just below Lightning's undersides, so Mater could succ Lightning's sexy pipe testicles. Lightning even busted a nut, but Mater was still succin'. They continued to do so, when the rest of the cars got bored so they decided to start rotation. Once everyone succed Lightning, they started rotating and succin' Mater, than Doc, then the rest. Some call it the circle of succ. I'm pretty sure there's a Disney song about it.

"Wow! That was some fun succ!" Said Lightning McQueen, and the rest of Radiator Springs agreed. But then, the orgy was interrupted once again, by sirens!

"It's the nuclear bombing warning sign! We have to scatter!" Sheriff shouted.

"Why would a nuclear bomb be planted here? We've covered spies in Cars 2, do we really have to escalate to nuclear war?" Said Lightning.

"Who would even be causing this?" Said Finn McMissle. And then landed on the ground, holding a nuclear detonator and wearing a jetpack: Carnet.

"Revenge time, bitch." Said Carnet.


	8. Mater Gear Solid

Days have passed, and Radiator Springs was still under nuclear warning. The citizens of the town were in hiding. Were they fucking in hiding? Of fucking course.

"Oh man, lick my ass Doc!" Said Lightning.

"Shush, the Metal Gears might hear us!" Said Doc.

Outside of their secret shelter, Metal Gears (alive versions, too) were patrolling.

"Geez, how will we stop this?! I want my orgy back!" Said Flo.

"We need help... but I think I know a guy!" Said Mater. "I just gotta ring up an old friend from when I was an espionage spy!"

"An espionage spy? Like in Cars 2?" Lightning said in surprise.

"Nope, moreso like the Vietnam War. They called me Solid Mater!"

(cue "Mater's Tall Tales" opening, with the title card being "Mater Gear Solid")

"It was a dark night in a military base, where I was ordered by my Colonel to steal some secret military plans. Little did I know, when I made it there, there was me!" Mater narrated.

"Who are you?" Said one Mater.

"I'm Liquid Mater." Said that Mater.

"I'm Solid Mater!" Said the other Mater.

"Woah, we must be twins!" Said Solid Mater.

"Actually no, we clones! We're clones of Big Mater! One of the most world renowned soldiers of all time!" Said Liquid Mater.

"Woah, how come I never knew that?" Said Solid Mater. "I guess I was too busy livin' the small life as a tow truck."

"Wait a minute, what are you doin' here? This is my mission!" Said Liquid Mater, growing angry. Liquid Mater pulled out a gun and aimed it at Solid Mater, and Solid Mater jumped out of the way just in time.

"What are you doing?!" Solid Mater shouted, in which Liquid Mater replied "I can't be letting you steal my thunder!", continuing to aim the explosives at his rival clone.

"Woah woah woah" Said Lightning, who was listening to Mater's story back at the shelter. "That's ridiculous."

"What are you talking about?" Said the narrating Mater. "You was there too!"

Back at the military base of Shadow Mozda Island, Lightning was next to Solid Mater while Liquid Mater was aiming at them with explosives. Lightning screamed and ran, but Solid Mater grabbed onto him with his tow.

"Come on Raidening McQueen, we got this!" Said Solid Mater. Solid Mater then swung Raidening McQueen around on his tow in circles, then latched some C4 onto him and launched him into Liquid Mater. Both survived the explosion, but were extremely damaged, and in Liquid Mater's case beyond repair.

"I did it! Time to check in with my colonel!" Said Mater, who got onto a codec and contacted Colonel Royota Cambell. "Colonel, I just killed my clone!"

"Wow, another one of my agents is a clone? I should tell Solid Snake about this!" Said the Colonel.

Meanwhile back at Radiator Springs, Lightning was skeptical.

"Mater, there's no way that's true." He said. Then, before Mater could reply, a helicopter flew above them and a military looking car jumped out.

"The name's Solid Snake, reporting here to help an old colleague." Said the Car version of Solid Snake. "Kept you waiting, huh?" Said Snake, directly into the camera, as a Super Smash Bros splash art thing went over him saying "Solid Snake car drives into the story!"


	9. Necromancy

Solid Snake then laid out a plan.

"So guys, we'll need all of you to make this work. We're low on explosives, but since we're all cars, we can make one as long as we tear apart just one car." Said Snake.

"Are you saying we murder a car then use his dead body as spare parts?" Said Sheriff. "I can't allow that in my town!" Sheriff warned.

A few minutes later, Snake began creating explosives from a dead car's parts and Sheriff was oddly missing. Oh well.

"Alright, I made a bomb. Someone will need to strap this to themselves and run straight into enemy lines, killing Carnet, but not themselves. I nominate... that guy." Snake said, pointing at Malachevron. Malachevron nodded slowly in agreement.

"Now let's begin phase 1!" Snake shouted. Malachevron drove outside of the shelter, bomb strapped to her, and she drove as fast as she could past the Metal Gears, straight into Carnet's nest. But Carnet expected it, and Malachevron was caught by a trap.

"Ha, you fell right into my trap!" Said Carnet. Some repair cars quickly dismantled the bomb and reassembled it into Sheriff.

"Woah! I'm alive!" Said Sheriff. "How could I thank you, Carnet?"

"Fuck me, of course!" Said Carnet. Sheriff gasped, then blushed, then got a boner and shoved it into Carnet's trunk.

Meanwhile back at the shelter, Snake realized what is going on.

"Oh no, what will we do now?" Said Snake.

"I have an idea!" Said Mater. Mater than nut in Solid Snake's ass, which caused Solid Snake to nut so hard he launched into Carnet's base, killing Carnet instantly, and destroying the cage that trapped Malachevrolet.

"Wow!" Said Lightning McQueen.

"You monsters! You killed me for your own selfish reasons! And now I must kill you!" Said Sheriff, who started driving to the nuclear control panel. Malachevrolet jumped in front of him shouting "NOOO!" and they collided, exploding in a fiery blaze.

"Oh my god! They're dead! Carnet, Malachevrolet, Sheriff! All of them!" Lightning shouted, realizing the damage he helped cause. While everyone else was busy dismantling the nuclear bomb, and the Metal Gears were running away as their leader died, he went outside and saw the damage. The Stanley statue was destroyed by some of the Metal Gears.

"You monsters! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!" Said Lightning to the half-destroyed Stanley statue.


	10. The Truth About Planes 3

With the nuclear threat destroyed, the Radiator Springs orgy was BACK IN SWING. And some new guests came along too!

"Hey guys, it's me, Dusty from Planes, again!" Said Dusty. "And I brought another hot daddy!" He introduced them to Skipper.

"Woah, you're one sexy PILF, Skipper." Said Doc.

"So, I heard you guys discovered how to car 69? Is there plane 69ing yet?" Said Skipper. That gave Dusty an idea. Dusty led Skipper into the air, where Dusty started flying upside down.

"Now land on top of me!" Said Dusty. Skipper landed on him while they both flew, and they started flying around while 69ing.

"I'm the first ever plane to 69 while flyin'!" Skipper shouted. "You better pull out an umbrella because expect a nut shower supplied by me!"

"No really, I don't mind some nut in my eye." Said Mater.

Skipper was right, and nut started to trail them where they flew. Some got in Mater's eye, and some even got in Doc's mouth.

"Unnffffff that's so hot..." Said Doc.

Skipper realized Doc's hot thirst and disembarked from the flying 69, and landed. "Hey Doc, wanna meet me at Route 69?" Doc blushed, and agreed. The two mentor vehicle daddies went off to Route 69, but didn't just limit themselves to 69s. Skipper even licked Doc's trunk! And gave him some hickies. It was hot, trust me.


	11. The Funeral

"Hey Doc, now that you've fucked a plane, you should try fucking a boat!" Said Lightning.

"Woah, I wanna fuck a boat!" Said Mater.

"To the docks!" Said Sally. So they drove to Radiator Springs Docks, which exist even though Radiator Springs is in a desert.

"Hi, I'm Mr. Boat, and this is my big deck," said the boat, gesturing to his deck.

"Now that's hot man!" Said Ramone.

"So, how does boat sex work?" Asked Filmore.

"I must capsize!" Said Mr. Boat. He gasped in air and flipped over, and Doc jumped on top of him and started licking the undersides of the boat.

"Oh my god this is so hot!" Said Doc.

"You have to stop! Mr. Boat is dying! You've been 69ing too long!" Shouted Sally.

"No! I must do it until-" Doc said, but Lighting pushed him off.

Mr. Boat resurfaced but... he was dead.

"Doc, you killed Mr. Boat! You monster!" Lightning shouted.

"Would a monster do this?" Doc said, before driving into the ocean to try to fuck a submarine.

"We have to stop him from fucking a sub!" Lightning said.

"He fucked you!" Mater replied.

"Not that kind-" Lighting said, but then Doc's body resurfaced... he drowned.

"Oh no, Doc is dead!" Sally shouted.

"At least he went out how he would have wanted... you know what he always said..."

"If I die, I want to die historic fucking a submarine." Said Mater, quoting Doc. "Anyway, funeral time!"

Back at Radiator Springs, Doc was given an ancient viking funeral and burned at the stake. Everyone saluted, somehow, because they're cars and they don't have fucking hands how do they fucking salute. And since the orgy was still going on, everyone decided to do a 21 shots tribute but in a different way HEYYYYOOOOOO.


	12. Christmas Special

After Doc's funeral, everyone realized... it's Christmas!

"All I want for Christmas is a tongue licking my trunk!" Said Mater.

"I can cover that!" Said Lightning, who opened up Mater's trunk with his tongue and started licking the insides.

"Guys look, it's Santa!" Sally shouted, and they saw Santa Cars, who in this universe, is a sleigh that talks and shit.

"So, anyone want some cummies for Christmas?" Said Santa.

"ME!" Shouted Luigi.

"Well, good thing you've been a naughty car!" Said Santa Cars.

Then Santa fucking DOMINATED Luigi. They didn't even need to drive off Route 69. He just SLAMMED into Luigi, flipping him over and jumping on top of him. It was magical.

"aaaaaaAAEHHHEHEHH~~~" Said Luigi, squealing in pleasure. This made Guido jealous, but luckily another hot daddy came along.

"Is that a train horn?" Said Ramone.

Then a Cars version of the Polar Express pulled up, voiced by Tom Hanks of course. "Nope, but it's a horny train!" Shouted the Express. "Now who wants to make this Express a Sexpress?"

"Me!" Shouted Guido. The Polar Express rolled off a cliff, and Guido jumped on top. Since Guido is way tinier, he jumped from compartment to compartment in excitement, which pleasured the Polar Express and Guido alike. When Guido finally calmed down, he started licking parts of the train's underside. The Tom Hanks voice of the Express was moaning.

"Wow, my husband is doing a great job." Said Santa Cars.

"Wait a minute... you too are married?" Said Lightning, talking about Santa and the Polar Express.

"Sssh, don't tell anyone!" Said the Express.

"So Miss Cars is a sham?" Flo asked.

"Wasn't it obvious?" Said Santa. Luigi and Guido hopped off so Santa and Polar Express could re-express their love. Luigi and Guido decided to re-express their love too. Then, the four combined their love and had an ultimate orgy, with the train, sleigh, car, and pit car combining their love into a massive pile.

"Ah, true love. Or lust. Whatever." Said Lightning, admiring the view.


	13. The Return

One day Lightning McQueen was jacking off with a human hand that he secretly had on his underbelly. When he realized. "HOLY FUCK GUYS WE HAVEN'T DONE AN UPDATE IN 19309409049 YEARS. WE MUST DO IT FOR ALL THE FANS."

"an update to what?" mater asked

"OUR RADIATOR SPRINGS ORGY" lightning screamed

"that had fans?" mater said

"lol no but its still fun" said lightning.

"WELL DADCUM" mater screamed and ate lightning mcqueen out. they btoh screamed AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. i'm not even gonna fix that typo fuck you im busy

then sally drove in "we're doing this again?" she said excitedly. her car alarm went off which in this universe means she's super horny. GET IT. HORNY. BECAUSE THE HORN IS GOING OFF OVER AND OVER ON THE CAR ALARM?!

everyone else in radiator springs heard her car alarm going off and subsequently their alarms went off. everyone else was super horny and raced off back to route 69.

"it brings a tear to my eye..." doc said, watching the young'ns race off to route 69.

"thats not a tear that's nut. skipper and dusty are plane 69ing again." said mater.

"oh. well that brings an actual tear to my eye. still a happy tear tho" said doc. he also raced off to route 69. it was settled. the radiator springs orgy shall cum again!

everyone did the same whole thing where they drove off the cliffs and someone else drove on top. it was SUPER hot.

"hey mater we've never fucked certain vehicles. what if..." lightning started, but mater could see where he is going. mater went off to a phone booth and called someone. hours later, 4 helicopters came in carrying a massive aircraft carrier.

"WOAH! TWO IN ONE!" lightning shouted in glee. the helicopters flipped the aircraft carrier upside down and he was so big that all of the residents of radiator springs could drive on top of him and arouse him. then the helicopters landed and joined in on the fun. it was quiet beautiful, really.


End file.
